Spiderwebs

Today I was reflecting on my aracno-fobia and what it means for me, why this unconscious fear is uncontrollable in my life. Spiders are a very unique kind of predators. Before they even try to devour you, they create a carefully designed, invisible net in a strategic place where you least expect it. As you fly as an insect, suddenly, without realizing what's happening, you find yourself trapped, glued to the sticky, invisible web that seemed to come from nowhere, and yet was meticulously webbed and strategically placed with the sole purpose of trapping you. Now as you try to free yourself from the net you'll see that the more you move the more entangled you get, the more you struggle for your freedom, the more the web seems to tighten up around you. And then your predator arrives. He doesn't need to rush, because you cannot move, and with his pace and enjoyment he will come towards you and there is nothing you can do to stop him, and he can devour you as he pleases, when he pleases and at whatever pace he pleases. There is something really dark about this kind of predator, and also I find it interesting how closely it resembles a type of human predator that lives in our society: psychic vampires, narcissists, psychopaths. Is it a coincidence that have fallen victim to such psychological predators all of my life? In spite of the fact that freedom is possibly my highest value - right there with friendship if not above - that I have imprisoned myself time and again into psychological webs of these extremely skillful actors, con artists and manipulators? Why do I keep ending up in these traps, and what are the spider webs? Apart from the flying monkeys and triangulations they create - i.e. the people they manipulate and move around you to block you, apart from the social structures that they create around themselves - status, money, power, authority, which enable them to move move freely against you, apart from the misinformation that seduces people into an illusion about them paving their way to act as they will - there is something else the spiderweb actually is made of, something that ensures that the spiderweb holds together, and without which it all falls apart: that's your belief system, your thoughts. That is why not everyone gets caught into them, and not all to the same degree. How free is your mind? How conscious are you? How aware are you of what dominates your thoughts, of what creates your reactions, of what dictates your behavior and your choices? Do you really think you make your own choices? Do you really think your thoughts come from you? Think again. Most of us have an immense subconscious programming that we are completely unaware of. Part of it is created in childhood, most of it in education, some of it through media, and then it is all reinforced by life experiences. Most of us have a software built up in our brain which controls our life and which we are not aware of, and this software can be used against us. It can be used as part of the web, to trap us.