Ego suicide

Expansion is not easy. If it were, there wouldn't be so many beings suffering on this Earth. When our source aligns with our desires, our past traumas, destructive belief systems, and unconscious emotions all act as obstacles to our happiness. Following our joy is not easy task. It entails facing all these obstacles, i.e. integrating all these splintered parts of us, so that we can align with our higher self. Until the next desire. It's an on-going process and when we fully embrace it and allow it, life starts to feel like surfing. Instead of fearing the majesty and power of the waves coming at us, we get ready to take the with excitement, and love. Most of us are far from being at this point though. Most of us still struggle with aligning with our higher self, thus with manifesting our desires and feeling love. Today I had an episode of ego suicide. Sometimes we create what we dearly desire but the obstacles in between are so painful, that we chose instead to resist. Our egos start to create all sorts of defense mechanisms to falsely protect us from "impeding harm". We lose ourselves in all its different layers, cling to it, identify with it, and don't allow ourselves to be aligned with our desires. We suffer. But then something amazing can happen. If the desire is strong enough, and the ego defense mechanisms strong as well, at some point the situation is so unbearable that our ego chooses to commit suicide. We let go of all our defenses. We let go of all our rational mechanisms, our you-me differentiations, our excuses, and we let all the pain in. And finally we can integrate it, and finally we can progress towards our higher self, thus towards love.