So there are three main phases in spiritual growth. The first phase is where you learn to control your thoughts, you see how your thoughts create your reality, and it is all about positive focus and meditation. This phase is absolutely necessary, for the second phase, but not sufficient on its own. The second phase is where you dive deep into the shadows, you welcome all kinds of emotions and let them take you to places, and you allow the negative parts of you to take over. This phase is where healing actually occurs, and it is necessary for spiritual growth. The third phase is a natural consequence of the first and the second phases: this is the phase about manifestation, it is where you create the reality you desire and you live a fulfilling life.
Most people get stuck in the first phase, including a lot of spiritual people. The second phase is scary for most. I've been going through the three phases in periods: last year I had a period where I focused really intensely on the first phase: I made it my goal to achieve impressive results through meditation. This year has all been about the second phase. I've been dwelling in and out of shadow work for the whole year.
Today after I finished my shadow work something unusual happened. I went into a state that I haven't explored in a long time. I stepped out of my earthly form into what some teachers would call the dimension that is an infinite form, that which contains the wisdom of all previous life experiences and the plans for a very long future. I saw this dimension in me recently when I did the mirror exercise that Teal explained in her latest video, but today I actually stepped into it, I became it. There is an absolute stillness in this perspective that is irremovable by any human chaos. It feels similar to the perspective one would feel if one were suddenly sucked away from the surface of the Earth into outer space, until the Earth looks like a small sphere in the infinite dark void of the space surrounding it. From this perspective, it is very clear to me how I made contracts with the people in my life before coming into this life. I can clearly see the contract I made with my mother so she would create the enormous contrast in my childhood. It is very clear how I made sure before coming into this life that all those various narcissists would come into my life, in order to ensure that I would proceed with my expansion. I can also clearly see the conscience of other people as they are still struggling through their expansion. And I can see how all we have built in this world serves this purpose only. And now it happened, I got to that point: I expanded where I intended to before coming into this life.
I also realized that this wasn't the first time I stepped into this perspective. I had lived it also during my teen years, only I did not know what to make of it because I still hadn't had a chance to hear Teal's teaching, where she describes it brilliantly. Those years were also the years that I started to feel an attraction towards Japan: what an interesting coincidence that I should be in Japan now that I feel this perspective.
Now I can see that my goals for being here have changed. Now that Japan has served me by providing me inspiration for shadow work thanks to its frequencies, I can see that there is another purpose why I am here. I heard that calling many years ago, and I can feel it now.
Japanese people live in a bubble of perfectionism. Japan has incredibly intense history. Its conflicts with powerful countries like China and the USA have shaped its culture. Japan is the only country in the world that knows what it means as a collective, to have its life swept away and destroyed in the matter of a few seconds. I understand that also very well. Only the extreme politeness of the culture now is a form of avoidance of conflict, that comes from a deep fear of making mistakes. The people have substituted connection and intimacy with food and video games. Now it is time to move on. I can feel that they are tired of being frozen in this state. I don't know yet how, but I feel that it is my purpose to help them in this direction.